Submit your own Not-so-frequently Asked Question!
Send your questions to Doug and you just might see it answered on the Not-so-frequently Asked Questions page! Please include your name and the town you live in.
Q. Did Otis really eat the bear? And if so, how was it prepared? Jon Michaels, Wee Waa, Australia
A. Do you really live in a town called Wee Waa? That must be so weird!
Q. If a chicken were to happen through town, and ended up falling down the hole in the outhouse, how long would it take to fly itself out? Kevin Birr Mankato, Mn.
A. Oh, I see...because I run some site on a town called "Chicken" I'm the expert on chickens. Well Kevin, I don't know! So there.
Q. Six friends and I will be passing through Chicken on June 21. What does it take to run for mayor? I figure seven people are almost a majority. I'd love to rule Chicken with an iron fist!! Jon, Lexington Park, Maryland
A. Jon, if you run for mayor, you'll have to deal with people like Rick from the next question.
Q. Can I pitch a tent somewhere for the night? I will be riding my bicycle through Chicken in June. Please? Can I pitch my tent? Rick from Toronto
A. Rick, I'm not sure if this is a legitimate question or sick cry for attention laced with juvenile sexual humor. Nice work.
Q. Why did that stupid question about the greatest chicken (duh! of course he is the greatest!) bump my question about inbreeding out of first place? Jennifer, formerly of VA Beach, now in Maine (but willing to move to Chicken)
A. Well Jennifer, each question is ranked according to special criteria including style, taste, relevance, and how it looks in a swimsuit.
Q. We will be visting Alaska in June is there a place we would either hook up our motor home to or a place for us to shower etc.? Barb Hulst Zeeland, Michigan
A. Yes, we call this place "Fairbanks."
Q. How far is it to Toronto from there? Pat Cunliffe, West Vancouver, BC, Canada
A. I don't know, but I'm asked that all the time. Pretty far I imagine.
Q. I want a real answer here. Is the chicken in Chicken the greatest chicken in the entire world? If it is you'll be seein' three extra visitors in the next year. And we'll bring our own bibs and cutlery. Karl Lansford, Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada
A. May the Great Chicken have mercy on you Karl for speaking of eating him. However, you may eat our normal chicken which is, by far, the tastiest.
Q. Did Jamie do anything stupid while he was staying in Chicken? Sheila Vicsik, Three Rivers, Mi
A. Ah Sheila, you speak of Jamie Brokaw who was employed in Chicken for a couple of summers. You sound like a friend trying to dig up some embarrassing dirt on him. Well I refuse to pander to your selfish request. Okay, I'll pander a little. Ask him about the time he and Nate blew up the stove and burned off all of Nate's hair.
Q. I am worried that if we move to Chicken, my children will have to marry each other. What are your laws about inbreeding? Jennifer, VA Beach
A. Jennifer, have you considered how convenient it would be to look for dates right at your family reunion?
Q. Is there some specific reason WHY people actually choose to live in Chicken? Kay Jones, Ft. Hood, Texas
A. Insanity? But I think it might also be to get away from those smaller states like Texas!
Q. Do you eat a lot of chicken in Chicken? Laura Peifer & Shanna Holthaus at Gustavus in St. Peter, MN
A. With that assumption, I hate to think of what you do with St. Peter.
Q. My husband wants to move to Chicken. Would you PLEASE tell him all the reasons why that is just insane!!??!! -Nikki in Indiana
A. Acually Nikki, it sounds like a good idea. Perhaps you're the insane one. Why just look at all that extra punctuation you used!!!!!
Maybe you should listen to your husband, he sounds like a very smart man. We'll be EXPECTING you soon Nikki!!?;;.,!!?!
Q. Are the citizens of Chicken close-knit like a family since (I'm assuming) everyone knows eachother? -Megan, South Dakota
A. Imagine one of those Thanksgiving Dinners where the whole family gets together and it's lots of fun, but some people get on other people's nerves
and now you're thinking it might be nice if cousin Ethel would just make up
her mind about whether or not she wants gravy, and why did Aunt Louise have to bring her
kids again, and is Grandpa ever going to stop with those stories about the time he swallowed a live gerbil?. Now imagine it never ending and there's no more cranberry sauce. (Actually Megan, Chicken may be small, but it's very spread out.)
Q. I call my daughter "Chickie" all the time. Does this qualify her to be a citizen of your town if we decide to move? -Nancy Beckwith, Pittsburgh, PA
A. Oh my gosh! I was just considering changing my name to Pittsburghie! This is weird!
Q. My good friend is called "Chicken" by all who know and love her. Will she be a welcomed guest to Chicken, Alaska? -Julia Moriarty, San Francisco, California
A. Hmmm...this is quite a weird theme. If your good friend is called "Chicken," she probably has some other items in her life to work out before she considers taking any long trips.
Q. I visited Chicken last year and had to wait in line for the outhouse. Are there any plans to build another outhouse? -Bill Null, Alum Creek, West Virginia
Q. I understand that if a chicken sees you when it first hatches, it will assume you are its mother. When Chicken was first established, whom did it imprint on, and where is s/he now? Dennis Dawson, Cupertino, CA
A. Dennis, this is the sort of question that keeps this page from being the serious discussion forum that it could be. (It was Hazel May-Louise McClusky from Hogshead, Nebraska)
Q. We passed through the thriving metropolis of Chicken in 1995 and we were very impressed. What we want to know is , if we decide to come through again in a couple of years, will Chicken be so crowded that you would recommend reservations far ahead of time for food and gas services? -Karen and Dave Sandeman, Calgary, Alberta
A. Good question Karen and Dave. What with the Olympics, the World's Fair, and the Calgary Stampede seriously considering Chicken as their new location, you may want to call ahead -as soon as we get phones..
Q. Provided any Chickenites saw the show, What did they think of "Northern Exposure"? -David Sorokach, Los Gatos, CA
A. Hey! Your name can be rearranged to spell "Cadaver Hooks!" Wow.
Q. Will the citizens of Chicken, Alaska be able to see Star Wars New Edition? -Frank Geary, Pottstown, PA
A. Most of the citizens of Chicken have yet to see the original release.
Q. Did the lady ever learn to self teach herself flying? She used the public road in 90-91 cause there were so few cars. Russ Wilson - Jeffersonville, Ind
A. I'm guessing you're referring to Sue. She took up riding horses instead.
Q. Does Chicken have a bank so you can convert American money into Alaskan money? -Jamie Brokaw, Three Rivers, MI
A. Hmmm.....Yes! In fact, be sure to ask for Doug when you want to make that exchange. We'll set you up real nice Jamie!
Q. What do the people of Chicken do in the winter? -Keith Fraser, Centerville, Utah
A. Since mining and tourism is shut down by the weather, some people run traplines, hunt, go back to school, or go on a long vacation. But perhaps the better question, Keith, is, "What do you do in Centerville, Utah?"
Q. Does everybody in Chicken wear that same red flannel shirt? -Jerry Evjen, Silicon Valley
A. Not at the same time.
Q. Are there any chickens in Chicken, and can I have mine with a side of cole slaw? And are the mashed potatoes fresh? -Braj Lew, London, UK
A. Braj, your question is obviously the result of too much spinning. Please ask you question again sometime when you haven't been spinning around in circles.
Q. Who's that guy, Otis? -Marc Taylor, Palo Alto, CA.
A. That's the guy on the front homepage
Q. Alright, then who's the guy on the front homepage? -Marc Taylor, Palo Alto, CA.
A. Oh, that's Otis.
Q. On the weather map, Alaska is a large island off the coast of California. Why isn't it warmer in Chicken? -Nate Lett, Kalamazoo, MI
A. How did you ever figure out how to use the Internet?